Breasts. This movie is about breasts. It's also about gore.

You should know that walking in based on the amount of adult starts in it, but it looks like a lot of people didn't.

It looks like a lot of people walked into this thinking it was going to have a plot.

That is wrong, it does NOT have a plot. But, it never really billed itself as having a plot. It has a loose enough plot to deliver breasts and gore, and that is really all that this promised to deliver.

If you watched it for any other reason than breasts and gore... you need to rethink what movies like this are about.

So, what you have is breasts and gore. The movie is about breasts and gore. All you can expect from this is breasts and gore.

If you like breasts, this is the movie for you. If you like gore, this is the movie for you.

If you are looking for a plot and an actual story... why on earth are you considering watching this movie? This will not be the movie for you. Stay away. This has no plot, this has no story, all this has is adult film actors, breasts, and gore. This is all.

**_Inbred cannibals are lurking in the eldritch woods of Ireland_**

This was shot in the spring of 2002 in Montreal & nearby Beauharnois, just a few months before “Wrong Turn” was filmed six hours to the southwest in the greater Toronto area (Dundas and Uxbridge). I mention that more popular flick because both movies tackle the same basic plot. The difference is that this one focuses on the festival of Samhain with inspiration from the ‘Sawney’ Bean legend of Galloway, Scotland, which brings to mind Wes Craven’s “The Hills Have Eyes” seeing as how it was also inspired by the legend. Of course, all of these were influenced by Tobe Hooper’s “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

The first act is a well done set-up in the cabin-in-the-woods mold, but the midsection meanders with characters doing unbelievable things, such as a couple exploring a castle-like structure at night when they were already lost in the woods; and, then, the female leaving her beau there to make it back to the cottage alone, even though she’s lost (rolling my eyes).

Gorehounds will no doubt appreciate the last act, but the ‘shocking’ bits are so overdone they’re comedic rather than horrifying, similar to “Wrong Turn” and, especially, “Wrong Turn 2: Dead End.” The Asylum’s “Hillside Cannibals” came out shortly after this debuted on DVD and it effectively kept the proceedings grim and horrifying. S. Craig Zahler was inspired by these films for his superior "Bone Tomahawk,” which is distinguished by being a Western.

Bobbie Phillips plays the conservative professor and she’s easily the most beautiful woman in the cast, despite the presence of several porn or ex-porn actresses, such as Chasey Lain as Amy in the intro, Ginger Lynn as Pandora, Jenna Jameson in a worthless cameo as Jenny, and Taylor Hayes as ‘the breeder.’

A highlight of the flick is the opening and ending song “Samhain” by Montreal-based Undercover Ways. Some versions of the film also feature the band’s moody “Silenced.”

Writer/director Christian Viel says his movie (originally called “Samhain”) was severely marred by producer William R. Mariani, who added bits, including the gory Richard Grieco scene and the “Scream”-ish horror trivia references, as well as removed material that was important to Viel, not to mention he had the film edited without Viel’s input. Then there’s the dubious tacked-on ending helmed by a different director, Roger Cardinal (uncredited). Viel fumed that Mariani’s version is too ‘sanitized’ as it removed a lot of the gore, humor and nudity he wanted, even though there’s more than enough gore, humor and nudity present. Obviously Mariani wanted to evade the NC-17 rating and keep the flick from being so over-the-top it was a total joke.

There are several bootleg versions available, including a director’s cut, but the official version I watched runs 1h, 21m.

GRADE: B-/C+